First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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