I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
