You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
