my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
