You're so nebulous sometimes
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my poor anus
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
