drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
