never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
