Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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