She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
this is an emotional support booty call
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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