I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
