I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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