you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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