i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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