My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
