I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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