She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
