Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
