well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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