I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
