True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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