just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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