Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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