Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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