i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
