would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
