i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
