I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
