We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
