Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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