God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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