All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
