dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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