if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize