well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize