I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
