where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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