Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
