yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
