i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
