I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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