Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
