he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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