I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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