I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
