She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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