i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
oh god the rape fog is back!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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