I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
there is glitter all over my balls
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