I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
