Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
