Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize