Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
