Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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