i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Acid is not a monday night drug
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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