Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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