We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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