id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
