how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
