I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
