fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
