This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize