i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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