How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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