You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize