So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Randomize
