it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
